Goodness Gracious
Loving, Losing, and Remembering Our Dogs
Welcome to my newsletter where I share my reflections on love and life—from my humans to my canines—and where I share updates on my forthcoming book, Dog Love Stories—The Canines Who Changed Me, out on March 18th, 2025.
February is the month our pug mix Goodness Gracious died in 2023. Her death marked the beginning of a year packed with challenges. If only she were here now to prompt me to chuckle at her antics, and she had plenty! She would lug her toys from my studio to Bill’s office every morning, then back again at the end of the day; Bill said she was moving babies from when she was kept by a breeder. In the evenings, when we sat in the living room, she would run in to join us, her Nylabone hanging out the side of her mouth like a cigar as she’d nestle in for her postprandial chew. When done with that bone, she’d grab her soft stuffed bone and suck on it until she nodded off. This collection of entertaining habits contributed toward her being one of our more popular dogs with house guests.
After building the dog cemetery in the fall of 2022, Bill dug the first grave in case a dog died in the winter, knowing how the ground freezes here in our mountain valley. We never thought we’d need it only months later. We buried Goodness on a day when the mountain winds turned the air to ice and, along with our hearts, both were cracking. There lay pure Goodness, wrapped in her faux cashmere blanket with fresh greenhouse herbs laid on top of her, and her suck bone tucked between her legs. Before closing the blanket around her, I placed the finished manuscript of Dog Love Stories on top of her, tasking her to deliver it to my pup pack with gratitude to each of them for being in my life.
There is beauty in caring for our loved ones in this manner. It puts things in our hands and allows us time to be with our grief. Like I said in the last newsletter, to pause and ponder: What’s the hurry? If we want to get on with our lives, what about recognizing that being with death can also be a part of our lives?1
During this past year since Bill’s death, I’ve met regularly with several grief groups. In one group, a woman who lost her dog a year ago still processes his death. No one in the group minimizes her feelings because she grieves for her dog while we are grieving our people. He, like Goodness, was still a creature who was lived with, loved, cared for, and is missed terribly. This is Goodness’ second death anniversary and the first for Bill, and though I experience differences in how I grieve and miss these beloveds of mine, grief remains. How I would love to hear the pounding of those pug paws running toward the living room and see that cigar hanging out of her mouth. How I would love to hear Bill’s and my combined giggles watching her once again.
Sharing stories about Goodness can be bittersweet, as the joy of the memory is often accompanied by grief.2 I wonder: how do you experience memories of your loved ones? Do you have stories you cherish above others?
Mercy Me: Reflections on Love and Life
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In the first video, I discuss being with death and burying a dog companion with Jill Sager, author of Guidance from the Universe: Hopeful Messages for Everyday Challenges. Video by Matt Struck.
In this second video, I read a section from my book about Goodness Gracious at my hometown bookstore, the Narrow Gauge Book Cooperative. Video by Matt Struck.
Lovely Patricia. Thanks for sharing all of this.
Your video is touching and so important. To sit with grief and so honor our loved ones.